Saturday, 19 May 2018

Huru-hara Puasa di Utara

Selamat Ramadan untuk kita semua!!!

Pas pertama sampai di haribaan negara sauna, hal pertama gw cek adalah lokasi toko barang bekas di sekitar tempat tinggal jadwal solat di bulan Ramadan *gw anaknya emang visioner* begitu liat jadwalnya gw hanya bisa...


Gw rasa viktoria sikrit model pun kalau lagi diet nggak akan gini-gini amat. Waktu itu gw cuma mikir, 'Liat nanti lah, coba dulu, kalau nggak kuat batalin.' Sambil gugel sana-sini mengenai puasa di Nordik. Lalu ketemulah gw dengan berbagai versi selain puasa mengikuti pergerakan matahari. Bahasannya mengenai gimana menjalankan puasa di wilayah Nordik, di sana dikatakan bahwa jamaah bisa mengikuti jadwal solat Arab, mengikuti wilayah terdekat di mana siang dan malam bisa dibedakan, atau mengikuti home country di mana dia berasal.

Sejujurnya dulu gw pernah ngetawain orang yang tinggalnya di mana, tapi puasanya ngikutin jadwal Arab, tapi kan emang yang namanya manusia akhirnya kena batunya sendiri. Semua yang pernah dikata-katain ujung-ujungnya balik ke diri sendiri. Dulu pernah ngetwaian, sekarang jadi salah satu alternatif pertimbangan.

Akhirnya gw gimana?

Hari pertama gw ikut pergerakan matahari. Sejatinya lapar dan haus bukan isu utama, karena sepanas-panasnya Nordik masih lebih panas neraka jahanam ya nggak panas-panas amat juga, lagipula gw menghabiskan waktu di dalam ruangan, bukan ngaduk semen atau panas-panasan ngejar layangan putus. Hal yang nggak gw suka adalah jam tidur yang nggak karu-karuan dan jendela makan yang sempit banget. Imsak jam 2.40 dan buka jam 22.36. Gw sama sekali nggak makan berat (pemirsa jangan-jangan nggak percaya gw nggak makan berat, beneran gw cuma makan jeruk, alpukat segede upil, dan keju seiris) tapi pas masuk sahur hari berikutnya masih terlalu kenyang dan nggak bisa makan apa-apa, mungkin karena gw kebanyakan minum, tapi ya gimana minum kan penting, lebih penting daripada minum-minum. Padahal niat awal sahur pun cuma makan overnight oats, tetep ga kemakan, walhasil makan kraker dua biji dan minum banyak. Karena minum tetap prioritas utama. Setelah itu mau tidur pun susah dan bangun tidurnya pun cranky. Hvft ya.

Masuk hari kedua, eh gw dapet, ga puasa lah. Tapi gw kedepannya mungkin gw bakal pake metode Turki, tetap lebih panjang daripada puasa di negara tropis *yaiyalah*, tapi menurut gw lebih decent karena 'cuma' 18 jam. Di sana pun ada penjelasan mengenai hitung-hitungan tersebut.

"Nggak takut ternyata 'sekte' yang lo ikutin itu salah Ning?" 

Lha, ya tinggal gw balikin, "Gimana ceritanya lo tau kalau 'sekte' yang lo ikutin itu yang bener?" Bukannya kita sama-sama awam yang ngikutin kata ulama? Islam diturunkan di Arab, pas perintah puasa atau solat turun ada hitung-hitungan buat mereka yang tinggal di Nordik nggak? 


Atau tarohlah Oulu, kota yang lokasinya di utara Finland, mau liat jadwal puasa bulan Juninya kayak apa?



Cek cenah agama seharusnya tidak memberatkan, yengga? Menurut gw sendiri, yang penting sih konsisten, ibarat gw ikut metode Turki, pada saat winter gw akan puasa lebih lama dibanding mereka yang ikut pergerakan matahri, fair kan? Lagi pula kalau ikut pergerakan matahari, pas winter puasa dari jam 7 pagi sampai jam 2 siang, pengendalian dirinya kok rasanya kurang *halahhh* Ditambah jarak waktu solat dari zuhur ke ashar cuma dua puluh menit. Dua puluh menit doang mah sama orang yang boker juga masih kalah lama. Concern lain, kalau ngikuti jadwal puasa di atas, terus mau nganu kapan waktunya?!?!?! Ya gw tau sepuluh menit juga bisa, tapi kan...tapi kannnn...tapiiiiiii....

Kakak gw bilang kalau gw nggak ngikut puasa pergerakan matahari, nanti dicengcengin sama mereka yang ikut pergerakan matahari. Duile, sejak kapan gw peduli sama hal kayak gitu dan di atas segalanya, jam tidur, pencernaan, dan kesehatan gw lebih penting.  

Dan yang lebih penting, hal kayak gini nggak seharusnya juga bikin rusuh, setiap metode yang dipilih ada reasoningnya dan didukung oleh ulama, yang penting konsisten, yengga? Ibarat gw keluar dari Nordik, sepertinya gw akan kembali ke metode pergerakan matahari. Ya asal keluar dari Nordiknya bukan karena pindah ke Alaska :))).  
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Thursday, 10 May 2018

Beauty Vlogger

Sebenernya gw seneng liatin orang pasang make-up, terus merhatiin before dan after yang biasanya hasilnya dramatis. Tapi untuk ngikutin beauty vlogger secara istikomah kadang males juga, soalnya kebanyakan beauty vlogger di luar sana biasanya cakep-cakep dan terlalu sempurna, gw kan jadi iri, hih!!! Belum lagi banyak yang pake make up dari merk premium yang sudah barang tentu nggak akan kebeli kecuali gw lembur ngepet.

Makanya gw seneng banget ketika nemu Youtube-nya Anwen yang kerjaannya review produk terjangkau dari Aliexpress dan Ebay, meski tetep gw belum termotivasi buat beli make-up, tapi seneng aja liatnya, 'She's my people!!' Belum lagi dese ancur banget dan ngomongnya nggak pake saringan. Jauh banget dari image kebanyakn beauty vlogger yang manis dan bak princess. Oleh karena itu, untuk yang nggak ada kerjaan dan kebanyakan kuota, bisa cek video-video berikut ini.



Di video di atas, dese ujug-ujug ngomongin penyanyi Lil Pump sambil bilang, "If you don't know Lil Pump, don't google it, you will lose some brain cells." Ya gw google dong. Aku menyesal tapi tidak bisa ctrl+z.



Hal lainnya tentang Anwen, kalau produk yang dia coba ancur, ya udahlah ancur aja, tetep dia upload videonya. Atau nonton dese nyobain wig, pun gw udah bahagia :))).



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Saturday, 7 April 2018

Marriage, Kids, Adoption

So I read this post written by my friend about marriage and I was like, 'Wah, I've been meaning to write something similar but don't know hot to put in words,' and as always, it is always kinda scary to write something that does not fit within Indonesian society. 'Warganet bakal bilang apose nanti??'

But anyway, let me try. Actually my view on marriage and having kid(s) evolves in time.

Marriage
Let's just start on the beginning a.k.a. when I did my bachelor. That was the first time I was exposed directly with marriage environment where I saw some of students get married even before they finished their bachelor study. Yes, they're young indeed. Back then, I saw that thing as some kind of achievement and at one point in my bachelor getting married before finishing study was a life goal. How great is that to have a husband in your graduation day. It usually happens in the environment where the couple are pretty religious because it is explicitly seen that the sooner the better (also as a preventing measure of premarital sex, which I would disagree on it. If you don't want to do, it just won't happen, if you want, that happen anyway. Ok, but that's not my point). So how about me? Am I pretty religious? Nope, I am not pretty religious, I am just pretty, full-stop. But again, talking about religiosity is not also my point.

My point is, now I don't see marriage (at young age) is an achievement, it does not solve your life problem, and it does not guarantee your happiness. Don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful thing, and I may want to get married one day, but it is not as beautiful as social media depict it. Have you seen Gone Girl? Of course that the extreme.

I still want to get married If I think I find somebody right, but now I don't feel like an obligation and I can see myself being fine even If I am a single. Term and condition applied: I don't live in Indonesia a.k.a I live in Nordic area or Western Europe XD. As one of my friend said, "I'd rather have short good marriage (cos getting married not at young age) rather than long terrible one." Of course there is such thing as long-good married, but some of us just cannot have everything can't we?   

Kids
Having a kid is like a default option for me back then when I still thought that getting married is an achievement. Although I never see anything wrong with people who decide not to have kids, I have always wanted to have one(s) back then. Now? If I ever get married (or not cos it works as well rite XD), I may want to have. I repeat, I MAY. Yes, I've changed. Why?! Carbon footprint? Nope. Overpopulation problem? Nope. It is simply because teenager scares me. I look back at my teenage time and I loath myself in so many ways, ewwww!!! (I was not even a bad teenager who tried stuff just out of curiosity or because I wanted to looked cool). I don't know how my parents managed. Another thing that scares me is that the idea of ideal kid from Indonesian society and my parents. That shaleh-shaleha thing, I just can't. Because  raising a kindhearted kid with strong grit will not be enough.

Again, some religious people will argue that having a kid is a good investment since  it is one of three lasting good deeds (in my belief, once you die all deeds just stop, except three things, one of those three is  having virtuous descendants). But you know what? I think I am doing ok with the other two lasting deeds: sadaqah jariyah (deeds when people continue to benefit despite the person who commence it die already) and knowledge which is beneficial (as long as people benefit from this knowledge, the person will receive 'reward').

But again, we'll never know, people change. Maybe tomorrow I go back to my initial thought that having a kid is compulsory.

Adoption 
"Do you consider adoption?" once my friend asked. That was only about two years ago when I was still in Singapore.
"Hmmm, maybe. If I want a kid and we (me and husband) cannot have by ourselves. But that is definitely last resort," I said.
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just want to have my own."
"You think that it is not 'mother enough' if you adopt?"
" I don't know."

And just in two years I completely change. I see adoption as a beautiful thing, there is no shame in it whether you choose to do so because you just want or you cannot have kids yourself. I even now have more respect to people who adopt more than anything else. Why? As I said, some people have kids because it is a default option once you get married/have a partner. It can just happen even when you don't want it and don't feel like ready. On the flip side, adoption usually is a deliberate decision. The person/couple consider many aspect and ponder whether they really want it and ready for it. Not to mention a long process and complicated paperwork. For instance in America, I once saw a couple told story that they waited for two years until they got the match. They went through long administration process with many visits from social service (it is social service right? or how do you call them?). So what happens is, the government want to reassure that the couple/person who want to adopt are eligible. Do they have enough resource? Are they good enough? Reliable and stable as parents? Those checking process does not happen with person/couple who have baby on their own, right? They just have it. It does not matter if they are unstable and may cause physical and emotional damage to the innocent human being. (Btw, I always believe that parents damage their kids in one or another way. Some are mildly some are badly. Just so you know, when I was still fat, like properly fat, the biggest bully was my dad...aha..aha...ahahahah, that's why I agreed with my parents to see nutritionist, the basic reason was to make them stop with the bully..aha..aha....ahahahaha. Btw, I know they did not mean it, they just want me to be healthy but the manifestation were just terribly wrong). Back to the adoption. I see nothing wrong but beautiful thing in it. Remember a police woman who wanted to adopt baby in Medan (if I am not wrong) but she was not allowed because of her religion? Her religion is minority that is why she was rejected. I am insulted. Religion is the reason why an innocent human being who was  abandoned could not grow with love from woman? 

Anyway, again, I am talking way off track. The point is, adoption usually comes from deliberate decision with long serious-process. The parents-to-be can be more ready compared to the normal parents. So, it should not be seen as something negative.

***

Indeed, life experience and environmental exposure change people. That is how I see marriage, kids, and adoption today. Who knows about tomorrow, I'll probably change again.
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